Prolouge

   

 I have just too many thoughts all the time and all at once. Physical journals worked for a time but eventually they end up with skipped pages and ideas scattered around. Some things get written down in the notes on my phone but it feels as if I'm dumping myself into an abyss to never be touched or looked at again. Now, sure, some of these thoughts I would like to forget but a lot of them I wish I had kept a better hold of. Maybe I just need better organization. Regardless now I'm here and opening my brain with a lumberjack's precision. What comes out will be neither clean nor sensible. 
    Most of my life is lived inside my mind and in the safe and comfortable spaces I've created there. As I typed that, I laughed at myself a bit because I don't find my mind that safe or comfortable at all actually. Most of the turmoil I go through comes from my own thoughts and self-expectations. I am my own worst enemy. But maybe putting my thoughts out there and letting others view them, will... make them seem less real. Silly even. I've spent most of my life learning about myself through exploration and research, only to learn that I will never be the same person as I was the day before. A terrifying feeling is never knowing if who you are is who you will be. If the things you enjoy today will still be enjoyable a year from now, if the plans you make now for the future will still hold true. What if that childhood dream I chased so ardently for years of my life was never in the cards at all. Who's to know? Not me.
    So I've created this blog to ask myself and others these philosophical and existential questions, as well as, answer questions and give unprofessional advice. And if my queries help someone else to discover something about themselves or they find a kindred soul in my writing, well.
Welcome to the club.

-Navi

Image credit:

https://webb.nasa.gov/content/webbLaunch/deploymentExplorer.html#43